At the end of anything, ultimately, I hope to have no regrets, at least no major ones! As we all talked about our summer at dinner the other night, I knew I didn’t. We had a really wonderful summer with some memory making family time, so I’m grateful for that.
I have to also admit that I’m looking forward to some uninterrupted time on my hands – its only 9:30 AM on the first day of school and I’ve baked a batch of cookies, started dinner, made a loaf of bread, done some laundry and the dishes. I’m also looking forward to attending to some matters during the day hours that don’t revolve around my home, or my kids, yet my heart is heavy as I soak in the reality of this passage of time.
Zach left this morning to begin his senior year, “My last first day of high school!” he proclaimed. Right, next year it will be college. I saw less and less of him this summer as he got a job, had football conditioning, camp and practice, and he’s pretty social as well. When I think about what is to come next fall…I will just miss him so much…well…I can’t think about that today.
Erin began her sophomore year – how is it even possible that this baby of mine is a beautiful, so mature, intelligent young woman, whose company I have absolutely adored this summer and whose companionship I will miss during the day.
Courtney is home for a few more days before I bring her back to college for her junior year. We’ve talked this summer about the dose of anxiety that comes along with being on the last half of your college education – she’s getting closer and closer to having to bear all the responsibilities of grown-up life, I feel for her, and I’m excited for her. We also may have just experienced our last summer with her home – so there’s that too that sits in my heart.
Kyler had a pretty rough summer and I’m just gonna be honest – I’m grateful that he’s back in school. I do hope this next passage of time brings him to a place of greater maturity, confidence and self-control.
All of the above indicates we are moving forward and are on track. We are raising future adults after all, and adults move on to live an independent and productive life…separate from us. But in the journey there are moments when I see and feel the separation more acutely. This is simply one of those moments.
The cookies I made earlier
are ready for our traditional
time when they arrive home
from their first day of school.
You can read about that here!