New Chapters of a Favorite Book

It’s been eight years since I wrote these words about our first one leaving the nest for college. It’s that time of year for many of you so I thought I’d drop these words here today. I’d LOVE to hear about your experience of leaving your son or daughter at college ~ leave a comment to share ❤

Original post August 31, 2010
It’s time to report that everything did not change on August 14, 2010.

If I felt everything changed the day she left for kindergarten, then surely everything really would change the day Courtney, our first born, left for college. The sadness I discovered when she climbed onto the bus for elementary school surely would not compare to the grief I would walk into as she left for college.

I remember the first time the new feelings hit me. It was the spring break of her junior year; she and I were at the college for a visit. The day was sunny and exciting, how fun it was to be doing this with her! My parents had not taken me on any college visits, so this was new territory and I felt so blessed to offer her this experience. Then I glanced at her walking beside me and my chest suddenly felt tight and slightly crushed. It came out of nowhere; my throat constricted, my eyes welled up and the first wave of a grief-like feeling crashed into me.

Those feelings hit at random times over the sixteen months, but waves came more frequently those last few weeks before the move. One day while on the patio by myself a big one hit out of nowhere, it  felt like my heart skipped a few beats and I had a sharp intake of breath, tears sprang to my eyes and I felt deep sadness wash over me. Not sure what to do with these new feelings, I intentionally spent little time thinking of the upcoming moving day. But the calendar kept moving toward it.

The day we moved Courtney was beautiful and the college had the whole freshman moving day thing figured out. There was an unmistakable air of excitement. We got almost everything up in one trip, laughed so hard as she and I tried to figure out how to make the lofted bed! Even as I helped, I tried to stand back as she figured out where to put her items in her tiny space (so hard for a mom who loves to organize). It came to be time for lunch, then we met her lovely roommate, went off for a Target run, back to the dorm for last touches and then the good-byes. She was excited, comfortable, and confident. She had dinner plans with Katie, her friend since second grade, and I was feeling stronger than expected.


Then her baby sister wrapped her arms around her neck and about broke in two. Oh, oh, oh, ohhhhh…tears sprang to my eyes. . .but unexpectedly grief stayed at bay. Her big 6’2″ little brother wrapped his arms around her – practically engulfing her. I felt such a pride swelling within me at these sibling relationships; we did it, we helped this trio cultivate strong love and deep bonds. And grief stayed at bay.

Even when her dad pulled her in for a hug I was okay. When I wrapped myself around her I just knew in my deepest parts that she would be fine. I was not saying good-bye, as I wiped tears I understood I was saying hello to this amazingly, wonderful young adult daughter of mine, and new chapters were about to unfold.

I credit God with granting me strength for those moments and the ones that followed. The drive home was quiet as Erin & Zach took in the new dynamic that would unfold at home as the three musketeers became the two amigos. It was good for me to be one who was strong and confident in the knowledge that we would all be not just okay, but indeed we would all be good.
To be sure…I miss her in this house. I miss her in my daily life.I wonder about her more times than I could count in a day. And in all of that, it’s still good. We parented toward this. She is making friends, being responsible, becoming independent. Everything did not change, but many things did and will. But it’s rather like discovering your favorite book didn’t end, there were many more chapters captured in volume two. . .and you just discovered volume two. . .and you can’t wait to see where the story goes.
(August 31, 2018…this one who blazed the trail graduated, got her first job and 401K. She moved to Naperville, IL and is currently living and working New Orleans, LA. Being a mom is an incredible adventure and we are more resilient, elastic and brave than we think we might be, so be encouraged moms (and dads) everywhere – we can do this!)

Picture of Perspective

wall-street-articleToday I saw this picture in the Wall Street Journal and my heart was rocked.  This boy is young. Too young to be fleeing for his life, trying to save these animals, which may possibly be his family’s livelihood. Look how strong he is as he holds on to the resistant horse, and tries to heard the goats. What turmoil he is living in, what hardship has befallen him; it’s quite unfathomable to me.

Each of my kids has come to my mind one by one today. I’ve considered their current situations and am grateful that despite any real struggles they may be walking in, they are not fleeing for their lives. They are not standing with outstretched arms trying desperately to hold on to family assets. They are not wondering if they will ever get to go home again.

Last month Zach, our almost 22 year old son broke two bones, tore muscles and ripped a tendon in his ankle. He hobbled around for a week before surgery. He’s lived in pain, fatigue, discomfort and dependence on others for several weeks. Getting to classes around a large university has not been easy. I’ve witnessed and respected his display of strength of  body, mind and character during this time. Yet still my heart has wished for less pain, more healing and more independence for him. Even as evidence of strengthening faith and the providence of God have been present, despite little to no complaint from Zach, my heart wants it to be easier for him. I want him to be at football games, not selling his tickets. I wish he could drive his car, not ask others for a ride. I wish he could carry his own plate to the table.

The picture above has not diminished in my eyes the difficulty Zach is in, but it made me thankful his biggest problems are what they are, not escaping from an ISIS held village. Our country is far from utopia, but we are currently not being slaughtered village by village or being held as human shields. Tonight I take this young boy under the wings of my prayers, asking God for His providence for him, his family, their animals ~ hoping he has found a place to rest and be safe. I’m sure I stand with his mom and dad as they seek and pray for things to not be so hard for their boy.

More than pictures

Fifty-nine days ago the move to Marshall was official, and for each of those days I’ve been capturing a photo of at least one moment that has made me happy. I suspected the 100HappyDaysChallenge would be a good discipline for me as I adjusted to this new season with it’s many, many changes. At this point I can report that it is valuable and centering to intentionally look for one thing, view, moment or person each day that makes me happy.

This move has gone more smoothly than I anticipated; the level of peace I continue to feel is unexpected. A friend recently told me I look “so good”, I’ve thought about that compliment a few times. ( Who wouldn’t want to replay that kind of compliment!) I believe that living apart from Kevin for two years was more stressful that I acknowledged, even to myself. We did what we knew was best for Erin and never looked back, but being together is what we were meant to be, so I think some stress lines have disappeared simply because we are reunited. (Truth be told, I’ve also discovered a really  great new make-up foundation, so there’s that!)

On a recent photo a friend remarked that our town seems perfect. When I read that I knew it was time to write a reality check post, lest the #100happydays project projects a false sense of perfection! Let me say that I am engaged in and appreciating the Happy Days challenge, but like that really good make-up foundation I recently discovered, the project may be responsible for making me look better than I really do.

it is wellThis blog is about real life. My heart is to be encouraging by writing about all of life, so let me get real with you today. First, things truly are going well. Second, there is an issue that has been hard, really hard. It’s regarding our youngest son and it’s all sort of tricky to talk about. The bigger picture of life in our new town is that he has been making some decisions and crossing some lines that have caused us to make some difficult decisions and reinforce some lines. Much of it is not pretty and there is no filter to apply that would enhance the picture. I share this because it’s more of a panoramic view, and considering I share my life with others I want to be honest, not deceptive, even unintentionally.

It’s hard to be in a town where no one knows you. Or your family. Or your history. Or your story…or your character. Walking through this would be easier in our community of sixteen years, but that is not our reality so we walk on being challenged to do the hard, right thing. To seek God and not justify, or feel the need to explain, or to be understood. To lean not on man, but on God who knows our hearts. For me, this is sometimes hard, hard stuff. I share this here not to garner words or sympathy or even prayers (though I’d never turn away a prayer!) but to show more than the scrapbook pictures of our life.

The thing about social media is that it’s part of our picture, not the whole picture. Think about our scrapbooks, we pick the best pictures to fill the pages, the things we want to document, record and remember. I never went around taking pictures of my house when it was a disaster or shot videos of my kids arguing, but those things were also a part of our lives.

For forty-one days I will continue to document one thing a day which brings me a sense of peace, joy or a happy feeling. It will remain a very good and important daily discipline, helping to remind my soul that it is well.

The Baby is at College and I’m on the Couch

Zach and Erin Aug 2015We took the baby to college.
The baby.
To college.

Curiously it was not as hard as I had expected. Maybe it was because I’ve done it twice before, or because she’s attending the university from which her sister just graduated, or because when it came down to goodbye she had a hard time, which propelled me into “strong” mode. Whatever the reason, I was caught off guard by the relative ease of the day and the absence of tears on the drive home.

Then ‘the day after’ happened and I was caught off guard again. The quiet of the house, the knowledge that she wouldn’t come bursting through the door with lots to talk about, the new reality that she wouldn’t snuggle up to me at the end of the day left me feeling empty.

Though the ‘To Do’ list is longer than ever with our move just around the corner, by mid afternoon I cleared my evening calendar and by six o’clock I was the couch with a blanket and pillow and stayed there until it was time to climb into my bed.

This sending to college causes emotional confusion. I’m over the moon to receive the texts that include “having a blast”, “happy!” & “making connections!” I’m so proud of her and confident she is ready, and believe it’s going to be a fantastic year. AND at the same time it’s difficult to take in the emptiness that weighs down my heart, the change is so abrupt. So for the second night I found myself climbing onto the couch, and sinking into the quiet and comfort it offers. My internal GPS is whispering that I’m off course and it’s trying to find it’s way. I suspect I am recalibrating to this new season, and the couch has offered a place to park and wait.

I read the article I was the sun, and the kids were my planets. Beverly Beckham described exactly what I am feeling. Exactly. If you have sent a child to college then read that article. Seriously. I felt less alone and less confused. I sent it to my husband, giving him the words I could not string together.

When I was first pregnant I spent incredible amounts of time on the couch, my body had a really hard time with the pregnancies, so when I read these lines — To grow a child, a body changes. It needs more sleep. It rejects food it used to like. It expands and it adapts. To let go of a child, a body changes, too. It sighs and it cries and it feels weightless and heavy at the same time.

When I read those words I understood; my body, that holds my mind, my soul and my heart needs a little recovery time. This is just part of the process. And it’s all going to be OK.

I find that each phase my kids enter becomes my favorite – I’m confident that is the direction I am heading.

We’ll get there, fellow momma’s traveling this road…we’ll get there.

Moving ~ Everything’s in Motion

In January I wrote here about doing what matters in 2015. Even as I hung my empty new calendar on the wall, I knew it was swollen with big events that would transform the shape and feel of our family. As I look at the calendar today, somehow January became August and the days are swishing by as quickly as they can.

  • Our child did come home from the program. He did great for a few months, but it has been difficult for awhile nSheri 50 birthdayow and we are working towards what’s next.
  • I turned 50 and discovered it’s not that different from my 40’s! (Check with me on that at 60 :) Kevin threw an incredible party with many wonderful friends and family so it was hard to feel anything but good about this birthday!
  • Courtney graduated from Purdue with a Chemical Engineering degree and we are so, so proud of her! It was an amazing day and I haven’t found time to write about it, but I will.
  • She also has her first job! Whoop Whoop!! It’s an amazing position at a great company – and she has relocated only a few hours away! Our excitement for her and pride in her remains off the charts.
  • Erin, our baby graduated from high school – her graduation party at our house felt like a celebration of her, many friends, family and sixteen years of life in Fort Wayne. It was magical.
  • Kevin & Sheri July 2015 2Kevin and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. We decided a big trip was not in the cards this year, but we got away and it was exactly what we needed. Living apart for two years has made us grateful for any extended time together without lists and projects.
  • We took an ahh-mazing family vacation with my sisters and some friends. It was an incredible cap on a crazy~full summer.

family vacation3But the day we returned home from vacation I felt as if my heart was breaking; I realized that what is left on the calendar is a lot of good-byes. And now the moving company has contacted me about scheduling the packers ~ the wheels of this move are truly in motion.

Chalkboard countdownI put this countdown on the chalkboard this week. I needed the visual of how many days we have til Erin leaves for Purdue, til Zach leaves for the University of Minnesota, til Kyler starts school in Marshall, til the movers are here packing up our life.

Oh, be still my beating heart.

It seems time is slipping through my hands like sand and I cannot stop it. There are so many people to have lunch or dinner, coffee or wine with. We have couple friends we are aching to spend time with but see limited dates remaining on the calendar. I have a moving/garage sale to organize and of course a few more kids to move to college. (I find myself grateful time and time again that we are only moving 90 miles up the road ~ it is this relatively short distance that brings me a level of peace. Friends…we will be back for those dinners – and our little town has a great brewery for those of you who like us and beer or pizza!)

This week is focused on the baby who is preparing to leave not only for college, but to move away from the home she grew up in. I’ve held her as she’s said some tearful goodbyes to friends over the last few days. She’s packed up her attic full of baby dolls and clutter, and she’s found her way into my big bed at night since her daddy is away. Last night we held hands in the dark as she talked about how hard it will be to go away to college – even though she is so excited and ready. Be still my heart.

The next week we’ll help Zach, our boy man-child, pack up and move to a house in Minnesota. He will likely be staying in Minnesota for the summer next year for an internship, meaning it’s another last with this boy who has such a big chunk of my heart. This momma stuff is not for the faint of heart.

There is much good to come from this move. Living with my husband is at the top, I’m grateful he has a job he loves and at which he is so valued. God is about to grow and stretch me ~ that can be uncomfortable, but it also leads to new places. Also, I’m not moving across the country, I’m moving a bit up the road…all good stuff.

I like to write with a purpose but as I wrap this up, I’m not sure of the purpose of the words on this page. Maybe it’s just to record what’s going on in our lives right now. Maybe it’s to preserve this snapshot of life.

As I think back to the original post in January I wanted to make sure I focused on what matters, whether it was packing boxes or sitting with a friend. Eight months later, in the midst of all the chaos, it’s a good reminder for me to do what matters.

Whatever season you are in, whatever you may be counting down…still your beating heart and consider what matters, then do that.


Momma, You’re Doing a Good Job

Momma bird 2015There’s a new momma in my midst and I’m so excited to be watching her closely, encouraging her along the way. This little bird created a home for her babies right outside my bathroom window; it’s been such a treat to keep an eye on her. I open the window each morning
s l o w l y,  as to not scare her, greeting her each time I see her, saying things like ~

“Good morning, momma, you’re doing a good job.”

“Hello sweet momma, you’re awesome.”
“Hi momma, your babies are beautiful.”
“Hi again momma, it’s just me, don’t be afraid.”
“Hey there momma, how brave you are!”
“Hi momma, you’re beautiful.”
“Hey momma, I see you sitting on those eggs, caring for your babies.”

Then before bed I tell her good night and  s l ow l y  crank the window shut. She has no idea what I’m saying or even that I care for her, but I talk to her nonetheless, care regardless, and watch her as she protects, feeds and raises future flyers.

baby birds 2015Recently a big storm was brewing, I kept wondering how I could protect her; the shrub is not full of big summer leaves just yet, leaving her wide open to the elements. The idea of big rain drops pelting down hard on her made my heart  hurt a little. I understood an umbrella would blow away and anything I did would just scare her anyway. (I really tried to think of ways to protect her!) My concern for her increased, though I knew she was created to withstand storms and such.

This morning I walked away after greeting her and suddenly wondered how many ways am I the momma bird to God? I wonder how often He greets me but I do not understand. I wonder how many times He sees storms coming, desires to protect me but knows that is not necessarily His job, how often He looks at me and tells me I’m brave, awesome, beautiful and doing a good job ~ but I just don’t understand the message. I’m considering how often I miss His encouraging words as I sit on my nest, watching over and taking care of the future flyers put in my charge, within (and now outside) of our nest.

If you’re a momma sitting on your nest and you’ve ever wondered if anyone notices you – know that someone does. If you take a pelting as you shield your little ones, know that God has His eye on you ~ I find strength in that. If you think you’re not enough, God says you are. The days you believe the voice that says that you are lacking in looks, know that your Father says, Hey my girl, you are beautiful. When we feel weak our Father whispers You are strong. Being a momma is tough stuff some days, joyful others, lonely occasionally, sad sometimes, fulfilling often. I believe my God sees me and speaks words to me that are above my understanding. This sweet little momma bird has me searching His word afresh, wondering what those words might be and has me listening a little more closely.

To the Mom Whose Son Just Knocked on My Door

shoveled drivewayYou’re doing a great job raising your boy.

As we both know, it’s yet another ‘no school’ day here due to some snow that fell yesterday. My husband is out of town so I was gearing up to go shovel my driveway when your son knocked on my door. He looked me in the eye and politely asked if he could shovel my driveway for $10; a very reasonable amount, not an “entitled” amount. He seemed as if he was truly looking to serve others and earn a little money doing it. I said “Yes!”

When he was done he (and maybe his little brother?) came to the door again, I thanked him for shoveling and handed him $15. He was just so thrilled with the extra $5 and enthusiastically thanked me, looking me in the eye again. So, I just wanted to tell you how polite and helpful your boy was today. You’re doing a good job.


Leaving Them at College

Zach college 6On August 31, 2014 we left Zach at college. Ten hours away. Lots of people do it every single year. Many of you have done it, survived, and are no worse for the wear.

I’m in process…

Zach - U of MThere are few circumstances in life in which we can so acutely feel opposite  feelings simultaneously; this is one of them. I could not be more excited for Zach. This is the university he has wanted to attend for so long, delivering him to this campus was exciting!

But then hugging him one last time Sunday morning was one of the hardest things I’d done in a very long time. Ten hours is a long way away.

Family Support :)
Family Support :)

When he stayed at home his freshman year and attended Indiana-Purdue University near home I had to get used to him suddenly being around some of the days – in my space. It was different after years of a quiet house while they all went to school, but I adjusted and we found a comfortable rhythm. Now it’s very quiet once more and I’m adjusting again. I’m confident I’ll be comfortable in short order, that’s not exactly the hard part. The hard part is waiting for him to feel comfortable and connected all those miles away. He will. I know he will. But this is the hard part.

Zach - family shotSo it’s both ~ happy and hard. When I feel sad, I promise you it’s not that I want him here, he was ready, prepared and eager for his next phase.  It’s just that launching your kids out of the nest leaves most of us feeling empty inside for a spell. My sister called the morning of Day 1, before she called I had assessed how I was doing and the verdict was well. The sun was shining (a guaranteed spirit lifter) and I was ready to move through the day, but then she asked how I was doing and I burst into tears. Oh my goodness, that took even me by surprise.

Courtney joined the road trip to Minnesota
Courtney joined the road trip to Minnesota

There does exist a bit of a grieving period. I will never again be in this particular mothering phase with this particular child ~ the door is closing. The little guy who needed so much from me his first four years, who endeared himself to me with his adorable voice, scuffed cowboy boots, blue eyes, white-blond hair, whose love of a night-time song in the rocking chair, and whose miniature hand disappeared in mine, well…he’s growing up and suddenly one day my hand felt small in his.

I do realize he’s been growing all along, but trekking 600 miles across the midwest caused it to hit me in a new way. There have been so many “lasts” along this mothering journey ~ and there are times you become keenly aware that you didn’t even notice many of them as they came to pass. When did the last tea party happen with his sisters? Where are those cowboy boots, and when was the last time he held my hand as we walked to get ice-cream?

U of M with Minneapolis Skyline
U of M with Minneapolis skyline

Happy and hard. When the hard part washes over me, I tell myself this is part of the process, so step in and feel it. The happy, content, and proud part exists underneath all of what I am experiencing. We invested much into raising future adults after all, not children, and he keeps taking the next steps in that process. This does my heart good.

Saying good-bye to Emma was hard too.
Saying good-bye to Emma was hard too.

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11
May the Lord bless and keep you Zach.

When Their College Dorm Room is Upstairs…in Your House

When our son, Zach,  turned down his first choice of universities to accept a scholarship from a college in town, I considered how to help him still have the college experience while still living at home…sleeping in the bedroom he had been sleeping in since he was four years old. Here is what I came up with to give him a little feel of dorm living while still living under our roof.

Zach's Room 2011

The first thing I suggested was that Zach go through his room and remove ANYTHING he would not have taken to college. That adorable picture of him and me when he was two – box it up. The dresser knickknacks accumulated over the years, and the books on the bookshelf from younger years – box those up too. I provided him a plastic tub so he didn’t have to get rid of anything, just box it up now and go through down the road.

We gave him some funds to purchase new bedding, and then we sent him to Lowes to pick out paint for his “dorm room”. We had him paint his own room – giving valuable experience in wall prep, taping, painting, cleaning brushes ~ as well cleaning paint from the carpet! He received a mini-fridge for graduation, so that came up from the basement storage area and went in his room as well – which he kept stocked all year with an abundance of chocolate milk, Gatorade, and Coke! He and I picked up a small corner desk to give him a study space. He decided he wanted his own TV, so off he went with some of his graduation money and purchased one. Slowly but surely the space was transformed, looking less like his old room and feeling a more like a dorm room.

Lastly his dad and I sat down one evening with Zach and went over the Dorm Perks & Rules. Here they are:

  • We offer free Wi-Fi!
  • We offer free printing!
  • Quiet hours after 11:00 PM on weekdays.
  • All friends are welcome to come over anytime – may have to work with your sister on reserving the basement.
  • You don’t have to ask us if you can go anywhere or do anything – but letting us know would be respectful.
  • When you come in late, come in quietly.
  • We are not a co-ed dorm  :)
  • We are an alcohol free dorm – except for the RA  :)
  • We are a drug-free dorm – no exceptions  :)
  • Unlike other dorms, we are open over winter, spring and summer break – you are welcome to stay over these breaks!
  • We do not have a healthcare facility on site, but we do offer free healthcare!
  • We will offer you a $20 weekly gas stipend – if you had gone away and lived on campus you would not have the added financial cost of driving to and from campus each day.
  • We offer an all inclusive meal plan, with options available 24 hours a day – totally free to you!
  • You will be expected to voluntarily contribute to a minimal level of house chores weekly. This includes bringing the garbage to the curb.
  • On occasion, (but not often) you will be expected to pick up or drop off your sister.
  • In the winter, you will be expected to sometimes help shovel snow.
  • We will expect you to communicate to us if we are not being respectful of your need to have study hours.

Most of this was tongue in cheek as you can see, but it seemed important to lay out what was in our heads so no one was guessing about what was expected. Since we had never done this before, we said we would schedule an assessment of the Perks & Rules in 6 to 8 weeks. Scheduling it was important so that if things weren’t going so well we already had a plan to address it, and if things were going well, it would be a quick meeting.

Zach’s freshman year has come to and end – I believe it went pretty well, but I have invited him to be a guest writer here on this topic later this week so you can hear his perspective as well. I am sure there are things he experienced that we could have done better, and because  I love sharing things that go well as well as learning through things that don’t go well, I have asked him to share openly and honestly.

I admit there were times I had to intentionally remind myself that he wouldn’t have to answer to us if he lived away at college, so I made efforts not to ask a lot of questions. I wasn’t concerned about him making crazy choices that were going to derail him so I tried to change my verbiage from ‘What time will you be home?’, to ‘Have fun!’ He had to experience more freedom if he was going to feel good about living here, so I had to shift what I expected of him.  It wasn’t natural to let go so swiftly, but it was important to the process so I worked at it.

Univeristy-of-MinnesotaDuring his freshman year, Zach applied for and was accepted into a program that has given him the opportunity to transfer (on that scholarship!) to his number one university. In 10 short days we will get in the car and drive him to his next dorm room – 10 hours away. I have a feeling I’ll have to intentionally work at a lot of new things very shortly.

Summer 2014
Summer 2014


The Great Thing He Never Told Us

We never get good news from our youngest son. I’m not a fan of the words “always” and “never,” but I believe “never” applies here; he just does not like to share positive news. Now — if there is bad news, or somebody (including him) chose very unwisely, we’ll hear a-l-l about it. If he discovers a hole within the program he is residing in currently, he will be all over telling us how he discovered the hole in leadership, training or supervision. You name it, if he found a weak spot, we will most certainly be quickly in the loop on that!

Recently in a meeting with the director of the program to talk about our son’s progress, he asked if our boy had shared some positive news about a choice he had made not that long ago. We, of course, had heard nothing of this news, so he went on to tell me the scenario that had unfolded. It was incredibly encouraging news — a decision our boy made all by himself that would have made us so proud of him … but he never told us. I was caught between encouragement and frustration.

While we were visiting him the next week we told him we had heard of the decision he made, and that we were very proud of him for making such a healthy decision for himself. He offered a little window of insight into what was behind that decision; incredibly, it was all intrinsically motivated. He knew he was making a good decision for himself. In a group where everyone chose one thing, he chose another.

I realized that the very thing that had frustrated me — him not sharing his good decision with us — in a way, is one of the very things we are parenting to. One of my highest goals in parenting isn’t that my kids will make decisions to please me (or anyone else), I want them to learn to make decisions that are good and healthy for their own sake. There will come a time (and has come a time for our college kids) when obeying and pleasing us is not what matters. The end goal has always been that they will make wise decisions that will be beneficial to their own bodies, minds and souls — regardless of who knew or didn’t know what they did … or didn’t do.

So he never shared with us the great thing he didn’t do, that’s OK. As much as I could have benefitted from that little golden nugget, what matters most is that he made a good decision in a not very good situation. It seems I am encouraged after all.