Lasts and Firsts and Taking it All in

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Christmas 2015 7Christmas break is still going at our house, which means two college kids remain here and we are enjoying the company of my mother-in-law. It’s slowing coming to an end though, Courtney has returned to her apartment and job and Kevin went back to work, making me aware of these dwindling days.

The other night after going to bed, I crawled back out, tapped on Erin’s door and climbed into bed next to her; sometimes a mom just feels like she needs to cuddle her baby, even if her baby is 18 and a college student. My intention was to stay for just a bit, but when she fell asleep in my arms I couldn’t leave; I woke up next to her in the morning light and my heart was full.

Christmas 2015As I walked through the next day I felt like I had experienced a gift ~ and hoped it wasn’t the last time that would happen, but wondered if it was. Sometimes the many “firsts” we get to see when they’re little hide some of those lasts, so we don’t even realize we missed the “last”. But my awareness of lasts is heightened in this season, and I took that one in…just in case.

Here’s another thing that happened this week ~ after two weeks of vacation Kevin needed some shirts ironed before he returned to work (wife fail: I don’t do his ironing), his mom said she would be happy to iron his shirts. As I watched her put shirt after shirt on hangers for her son I wondered if she was having a mom-moment; caring for her son in this way. As I’ve sat at dinner and listened to Kevin thank God for his mom’s presence I am cognizant of their mother-son relationship, and also grateful they have the opportunity to be together like this, and hope this is a glimpse of my future. (Yesterday as I put a pair of pants on Zach’s bed, I decided  to iron them for him since I had the iron out anyway. As I did that I wondered how many more times I would iron something for my son, and smiled as I thought of Verona ironing Kevin’s shirts.)

Christmas 2015 3In this season of change ~ so much change, I’m also encountering some “firsts” as I experience some “lasts”. Zach and I went for pizza and a beer at our local brewery the other night. We’re planning a visit to Minnesota soon to meet the girl he is dating and his core group of friends. I’m going to visit Courtney for a weekend and she is looking forward to showing me around her town and sharing her life there. Erin is planning to study abroad in Spain this summer ~ all firsts.

I love being a mom ~ parenting these kids with Kevin has been the greatest joy of my life to Christmas 2015 4this point ~ and ~ things are shifting. So I’ll take in those hugs, cuddles, and give the shoulder massages my kids love. I’m working to embrace the paths we are walking in, and walking towards. Five months ago we were living in the same house, today we live in four different states – that’s a lot of change, and that was just the beginning, there is more to come.

As I consider my loving mother-in-law ironing her son’s shirts, going out to dinner with just him, lingering with him over coffee, I am reminded the role of a mom remains even as her purpose transforms.

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