Putting this box together was a heart-heavy task. It’s been a year and seven days since we left our youngest in a program designed to help him work through the many issues that trap him. The academy he attends is the right place for him to be for now; right for him and for us. But even with that truth, there are times when it’s just hard. And sad.
In 2 Kings 20, King Hezekiah is told that God has heard his prayer and seen his tears and that his prayer will be answered – healing will come to king Hezekiah. Then the king does something I do too, he asks what the sign will be that this will indeed come to pass. I found myself asking God again this morning for a sign after reading those words – what will be the sign that Mister will be healed? I want to know this will happen. That I will see it. That I will see this boy, with so much potential, walk in freedom from all that was done to him and all he now does to himself. What will be the sign, Lord?
I keep coming back to this – God has provided. All along the way. My signs come in little markers that I must keep track of so that I remember we are not alone on this path, that God is indeed, providing all along the way. Here is how he has provided for today – our very good friend, who is like family to us and sits next to me many Sunday mornings in church, is at the academy this week where our son resides. She sat next to him last night. Right next to him. He asked her about our church. He wondered how we are doing since our pastor passed away almost a year ago. He remembered. He’s tracking time on something very meaningful to all of us – apparently even him. Which tells me he cared for Pastor Stan as much as Pastor Stan cared for him.
Our youth pastor sent him a few t-shirts from our youth ministry – reminding him that he is not forgotten. Our friend will give those to him personally. We also sent an early birthday gift, one that will be handed to him by someone he knows, an extra loving touch in addition to the box he will receive with the rest of his gifts on his birthday. God has taken what has been really hard for me and provided a way for me to feel some relief.
The tears I have shed over this box have caught me off guard; the reality is that even in all the rough, tough stuff, my heart loves this boy deeply. Though he challenges us to the edge of ourselves, my heart has claimed him.
God has heard my prayers and seen my tears. What will my sign be that this is true? Today I am reminded that I’m seeing them all along the way.
Here is a link to a video from the school that our boy is calling home for now. Kevin and I met these boys this summer.