From the very first post of Mother of the WHAT?! I said I would be authentic, in fact, the subtitle of this blog is True Tales of an Ordinary Mom. I’m here today to share the truth about something that has been a hard, but real part of our lives as parents. Last week we enrolled our youngest in a program – away from us – where we believe he will get some additional help and guidance, some healing and direction, and some hope for his future.
I am sharing this for three reasons:
1) I write here for others and in that writing, I share the truth – which is sometimes good, touching, funny, embarrassing, boring but sometimes hard, and sometimes – it leaves me vulnerable.
2) Our child will likely be in this program for a year, I’m not going to pretend in my writing that he is here during this time when he is not.
3) I am sharing because a decision like this doesn’t happen for most parents, but when it does, it feels heavy, and you feel alone, and sometimes a little defensive of your decision. It also might feel embarrassing or even humiliating, but I don’t believe it has to feel this way. So, if you are in a situation like this, or know of someone who is, let’s lift the veil and talk about it.
This wasn’t a decision we made lightly, I can’t imagine that anyone enters into a decision like this easily. There are some that will (and have) questioned our decision, and there will likely be some who talk behind our backs, but we invite those discussions or questions to come to us; we are confident in our decision, we are fighting for the heart of our child, and we are not ashamed of that.
Its been difficult for a very long time. As he gets older, the consequences for some of his choices are beginning to fall outside of our parenting. His past has tweaked the way he thinks and reacts, and we needed to get him more help than we are equipped to give him. But maybe, just maybe, we have been equipped…to release him…for this period.
This week I have cried, felt relief, had peace, cried some more, felt light, felt heavy, and been confident. But most of all, I have trusted in the Lord, that he who began a good work in this boy will continue to work to bring it to completion…
I am encouraged by this season. It will look different, it will feel different, and I have a belief that ultimately it will be refreshing and beautiful for each of us.
I wrote over at Moms.FortWayne.com about this as well…you can read that here.
I know the personal agony of you and your entire family. I know the real challenges you have been dealing with and I know the honesty of your hearts and the knees that were bent in prayer asking for guidance. I know that how this all came about was a miracle. I believe the seeking of God’s will that you and Kevin have always done from even the very beginning seed of adoption – way, way, way back when, was spirit led. God will complete the work he has started in all of this. I love you. And I am proud of you.
Jamie, thank you. Your support of our family has been constant and loving. Your words mean a lot.
I love you.
Lifting you all up in prayer. I have such great hope for his future!
I KNOW you made the best decision in your circumstance. Those that question have I’m sure never experienced what you have. I know you have endlessly prayed and tried everything possible. I am praying this gets thru to him and God touches his heart and he realizes just how lucky he is to be a part of a family who loves him so much. Love ya, Barb
I’ve been thinking about you every day, wondering how you are with each day that passes, as I’m sure each day is different. Sometimes doing the best for our kids means doing what is hardest for us and even what feels unnatural. I do believe you are working within God’s will. I know you are giving him every opportunity available to him to heal, and this is one more opportunity. I love you, I’m proud of you, I’m here for you, I’m praying for you, and so much more.