Be still…

February 22 ~
Be still and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10

I pulled my all time favorite devotional (My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers) off the shelf this week so I could be reminded to open it. Sometime ago while straightening the house it made its way to the shelf where it has sat for a very long time. Paying bills by the computer just now the little book sitting here on the desk seems to be saying ‘Open up to today – there is a word for you there.’ And so I do…

Be still and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10

Tenacity is more than endurance, it is endurance combined with the absolute certainty that what we are looking for is going to transpire. Tenacity is more than hanging on, which may be but the weakness of being too afraid to fall off. Tenacity is the supreme effort of a man refusing to believe that his hero is going to be conquered. The greatest fear a man has is not that he will be damned, but that Jesus Christ will be worsted, that the things He stood for – love and justice and forgiveness and kindness among men – will not win out in the end; the things he stands for look like will-o’-the-wisps. Then comes the call to spiritual tenacity; not to hang on and do nothing, but to work deliberately on the certainty that God is not going to be worsted.

If our hopes are being disappointed just now, it means they are being purified. There is nothing noble the human mind has ever hoped for or dreamed of that will not be fulfilled. One of the greatest strains in life is the strain of waiting for God. “Because thous has kept the word of my patience.”

Remain spiritually tenacious.

If you read this post about what’s going on with Mister, than you know it’s been a mentally, emotionally, spiritually exhaustive week. I’ve shed tears often, shaken my head a lot, been angry at the program leaders – and even God – if I’m gonna be honest. Although it appears as if there is nothing I can do to have the program staff hold Mister accountable to the program as presented to us, I just don’t know how to do nothing about this. I’m not wired that way, I have advocated for this child since I met him. I have worked for his emotional and mental health and spiritual freedom for eight years. I really don’t know how to do nothing.

Yesterday my friend Barb said the wisest most loving thing to me – she said, “Before he was yours, before he was given to his biological mom, he was the Lord’s. Offer him back to the Lord. For this week, do nothing, just continually offer him back to the Lord and give yourself time to heal from this disappointment.”

So when my mind begins to wind up, when I cannot sleep, when I want to get on the computer and send an email that says what I really want to say – I don’t. I stop and I picture my open hands holding Mister up to God. He is yours. You know everything that is going on in the program. Your perspective is higher than mine. I’ve still shed some tears, but they don’t seem to sting as much as before these wise words.

And then today, my old companion Oswald Chambers reminds me to be still and know that I am God. Be still. This aligns with Barb’s gentle words. And so it seems God isn’t completely silent, he is getting word to me, and I will move from barely hanging on to waiting on God with spiritual tenacity.

Anyone else need this message today?

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